


The Stash

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 18:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2438600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Someone should've played more on that chemistry.  They could’ve been the Hepburn and Tracy of the 90s.  OK, they could’ve been the ‘two other good actors but not on the caliber of Hepburn and Tracy of the 90s’.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stash

She rang the bell and waited for him to answer. Hotch had actually taken a few days off, which stunned his teammates but was probably good for him. They flew back from Mesa County, Colorado on Wednesday night. Three teenagers were dead in the city of Clifton and the town wanted answers. The BAU were able to provide them after spending five days there delving into the lives of the citizenry.

As the plane was about to land in Quantico, Hotch informed his team he would be working late into the night on paperwork and wouldn’t be returning to the office until Monday. No one wanted to intrude on his personal business, which he was grateful for, but he just said it was family stuff. He and Haley had been apart for a few months now; it was common knowledge. This most likely had something to do with Jack and as a child of divorce Emily understood and sympathized. On the ride back to the office she wanted to say something but didn’t since JJ was in the backseat.

She debated about it for hours and then days. Should she inquire or wait for him to say something? Waiting for him was like waiting for hell to freeze over. That may have happened for The Eagles but it probably wasn’t going to happen for Aaron Hotchner. Emily was surprised when he called her on Friday afternoon.

It broke the monotony of the paperwork mountain she’d managed to put a dent in. The conversation was short; it didn’t seem as if he was in the mood to chat. But he did ask if she wanted to hang out on Sunday evening. That’s what they'd been doing since he came home to an empty house after their trip to Milwaukee. Neither could probably explain how it happened but they were friends now.

Emily never asked too many questions and Hotch didn't talk much. They ate, they watched movies, they drank; they even kissed once or twice. That was something they definitely didn’t talk about. They were both lonely, tired, and just needed something. Right now this something was doing what they needed.

“Hi.” Hotch’s smile was almost shy when he opened the door.

“Hey.”

Emily couldn’t believe what she was seeing as she walked over the threshold. She’d seen casual Hotch a few times but this was something completely different. He wore gray Adidas track pants and a white FBI Academy tee shirt. His shirt was slightly wrinkled, which was a really adorable look for him. He was barefoot but wore clean, white sports socks. She had to fight the overwhelming urge to tear his clothes off.

“I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for so I stopped at the Dumpling Palace.” She held up the bag. “I got seafood, chicken, and veggie. Were you cooking something?”

“Tater tots.” Hotch replied, smiling as she raised her eyebrow. “I was craving potatoes and that’s all I had. You have two bags; what else did you bring?”

“A bottle of Chateau Ste. Michelle.” Emily held up the Wine and Spirits bag. “I find a good Riesling will go with any meal.”

“I agree with that.”

Hotch took the bags from her, telling Emily to make herself comfortable. He looked at her in her blue jeans and orange v-neck tee shirt. He wasn’t sure if the shirt was tight on purpose or if that’s how they were worn these days. Emily also wore ballet flats, a look he’d never seen on her before. Her long, raven hair was pulled back in a ponytail with her ever-present bangs. Whenever Hotch saw women on the streets with bangs, he always thought of Emily. He didn’t mean to but there wasn’t anything he could do to stop himself.

“I like your place.” Emily tried to be optimistic. “This is a great building. Years ago I had a friend who lived here.”

“It came highly recommended. I honestly never thought about moving but…” Hotch sighed but didn’t finish his sentence.

“So Haley went back to the house?”

Emily didn’t want to ask but felt compelled to. She wasn’t the type to just wonder. Well, that wasn’t true…she wondered a lot of things about Hotch all the time. She just didn’t want to wonder about this. Haley walked out on him while he was away on a case. She packed some bags, took their son, and moved into her mother’s place.

Hotch wanted her to go back home but she claimed she didn’t want to be there. Emily didn’t know where else she could go; Haley didn’t work anywhere. Maybe she’d been squirreling away for years, in case she had to make a clean break. Maybe Mr. ‘Hang Up on Hotch’ would finance a new place for her. It was none of Emily’s business but that didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about it.

“I insisted. Jack needs to be at home in his bed. I didn’t feel comfortable living there alone and I don’t want my son in a guest room when he has someplace to live.”

Emily nodded, choosing not to continue that conversation. She just looked around at the boxes. She had more when she moved back to DC and her place at The Watergate came nearly fully furnished. Maybe Hotch had taken some time off to unpack but didn’t get to much of it.

“How long have you been here?” she asked.

“Almost three weeks. The plan was to unpack during this time off but I didn’t progress like I intended.”

“Well point me in the direction of the DVDs. I’ll find even more to distract you.”

“The boxes by the bookcase are labeled; I think it’s second from the top. Are you hungry?”

“I could munch on something.” She replied. “Crack open that wine…lets relax and have a good evening.”

Hotch nodded, going on the hunt for the corkscrew.

“I should've come yesterday.” Emily said, taking the box off the top and putting it on the floor. She took her keys from her pocket to slice the DVD box open. “You really need to unpack.”

“I will.”

“You took two days off. You’re going back to Quantico tomorrow.”

“Emily…”

“I shouldn’t be pushy; I'm sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“Actually, I was reading _Better Homes and Gardens_ last week and move-in boxes are the latest craze. It’s called Unpacked Chic.”

“That’s not true.” Hotch laughed a little, finally finding what he was looking for.

“It is!” she exclaimed. “The thing is though, color is in as well. Brown boxes are so 2005 Hotch…you need colors. You should try red or blue; maybe a nice yellow or fuchsia to brighten up the room. Yes, fuchsia would be just perfect. It might seem silly to switch out one box for another but this is the height of current home decorative fashion. I'm helping you out.”

“You know I appreciate it.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“You’ve been a good friend to me, Prentiss.”

Hotch came into the living room with a tray. He had a plate of dumplings with different sauces and a plate of tater tots. There was a beer for him and a big glass of wine for Emily.

“I adore you.” Emily replied, without a second thought. She had her back to him and was looking through the box. It was well organized, which didn’t surprise her, but she’d seen most of these films more than 10 times.

“What did you say?”

“I said I adore you Aaron.”

“You mind saying that to my face.”

“I’d prefer not to.”

Hotch smirked as he sat down on the couch. He wouldn’t push her just as she didn’t push him. It wasn’t fair anyway since he was still a married man. It was only on paper but that didn’t matter.

Haley said she wanted an uncontested, ‘quickie’ divorce. Hotch was baffled that she could walk away from 25 years with something as simple as a signature. He was also baffled that after 25 years he felt something for someone who wasn’t his wife. This something wasn’t new either. It was one of the many things he’d repressed over the years.

“Did you find something you like yet?” he asked, thinking a change of subject was probably the best idea.

“There are certainly some great films here. I've just seen them all so many times. I think it’s gonna be _Clear and Present Danger_ unless I find something in this bag to beat that. Not that much can top the amazing heat of Harrison Ford and Anne Archer.” Emily grabbed the black plastic shopping bag sitting in the corner of the box. It was knotted so she worked on it. “She is a terrific and underrated actress. Someone should've played more on that chemistry. They could’ve been the Hepburn and Tracy of the 90s. OK, they could’ve been the ‘two other good actors but not on the caliber of Hepburn and Tracy of the 90s’.”

“That’s more than a mouthful but I agree. I could watch _Clear and Present Danger_ ; it’s been a long time since I've seen it. When I…”

“Oh my God.” Emily gasped.

“What is it? Are you OK, Emily?”

“Are these your movies?” she asked, not sure her voice had come out of her throat.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “Yes, they're my movies. I packed everything myself. I could’ve possibly grabbed some of Haley’s. If its _Flashdance_ or _The Way We Were_ it’s so not mine.”

“This is definitely not _The Way We Were_. I think you should find a new hiding spot for the special ones, Hotch. Leaving them in the box is not a good plan, even in a plastic bag.”

“What are you talking about?”

He got up and walked over to where she was standing with the DVDs in her hands. Luckily he didn’t openly gasp but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. Hotch thought he might have lost his voice.

“Those are not mine.” He said in a firm tone.

“Are you sure?” she smiled. “ _Innocents Lost_ surely is a classic of the genre.”

“They're not mine.” Hotch said it a little louder as the cranberry flush crept across his face. He probably hadn't blushed since he was about 14 years old.

Emily was holding four pornographic DVDs. The one, _Innocents Lost_ , was surely a ‘women in prison’ flick. There was _Cheerleader Camp_ , which was self-explanatory; _Sex Kittens from Outer Space_ and _No Means Yes_. That was one the one that really disturbed him. He turned it over and saw scenes of simulated sexual assault.

“What the hell? How did these get into my box?”

“You packed them, Hotch.”

“But they're not mine.” He dropped it as if it were poisonous. “I would never enjoy something like that.”

“Maybe they're Haley’s.” Emily shrugged.

“She…” Hotch stopped.

He was going to say that she didn’t enjoy these things either but how the hell would he really know. They'd been living separate lives for longer than he cared to admit even to himself. And over the last few months he realized he barely knew her at all. But fantasy rape pornography? She couldn’t possibly be turned on by the pure objectification of women. Was she that much of a stranger to him?

“Its not real porn.” Emily said.

“It looks like it to me.”

“It’s just soft-core.”

“What?” Hotch looked at her.

“There are millions of different kinds of porn, which I'm sure you know. But the two basic categories are soft-core and hardcore. Soft-core is just simulated sex; it’s often called erotica.”

“There is nothing erotic about this, Emily, nothing at all.”

Hotch didn’t want to hear anymore. He put them back in the bag, took the bag in the kitchen, and threw it in the trashcan. After a few minutes, he changed his mind, grabbed the bag again, and took it out to the hallway trash chute. When he returned, Emily looked at him.

“Some sanitation worker will think tomorrow is his lucky day.” She said. “Do you feel better?”

“I can't believe that was in my box.”

“Oh c'mon Hotch, it was fluff porn.”

“You advocate that kind of thing?” he asked. “You advocate simulated rape fantasy?”

“Don’t do that.” Emily shook her head. “It doesn’t matter if I advocate it or not; don’t judge people on their fantasies.”

He didn’t know what to say. Thinking about Emily’s fantasies was enough to make his head explode. But thinking that she was turned on by the idea of someone invading her space and her body…

“I don’t want to think about it.”

“You’ve never had a fantasy that was a little off the beaten path?” she asked. “I find that hard to believe since you were a 15 year old boy once. You’ve never been turned on by something that scared you a little?”

“We should probably just watch the movie.” Hotch cleared his throat and went back over to the couch.

Emily nodded. Here she was again, not pushing it. They were standing on the edge of the cliff and even the softest wind would blow them over.

“So… _Clear and Present Danger_?” she held up the non-offensive DVD.

“Yeah, that’s fine. C'mon, I don’t want our food getting too cold.”

Emily put on a smile and went over to the DVD player.

***

“I wasn’t saying anything bad about you and I wouldn’t judge you. Please don’t think that.”

“What?”

Emily looked at him. They were three-quarters of the way through the movie and her third glass of wine was waving the white flag of surrender. The dumplings and tater tots were mostly gone as well. They’d been watching the movie in tense silence but Hotch couldn’t take it anymore. He’d invited Emily over so he could breathe and relax…he could be tense all by himself.

“I know that a lot of people enjoy some form of pornography.” He said. “I'm not a prude.”

“Do you really want to have this conversation?” she asked.

“We’re friends; we can talk about anything right?”

“Absolutely.” Emily nodded. Even while she was doing that her mind was screaming. _No, no, you can not talk about anything. You most certainly cannot talk about porn_.

“I'm not judging you if you enjoy pornography, Emily. I just…so much of it demeans women. How could a women truly enjoy and endorse that?”

“A lot of it doesn’t, Hotch.” she replied. “Porn is like pizza…there are a million different varieties.”

“Porn is like pizza?” he looked at her like she had four heads and sixteen eyes.

“If you believe it that’s a direct quote from my father. There is something out there to indulge every fantasy, from the triple vanilla to the criminal. And with the internet it’s more prolific than anyone could ever have envisioned when they were making Behind the Green Door. I do understand where you're coming from; we always see the dark side of things. This job has ruined everything for me from carnivals to road trips to the damn Super Bowl…not that I was a big football fan to begin with. I refuse to let it ruin my fantasy life. That’s my comfort.”

“Pornography is comforting?”

“No, fantasy life is comforting. Pornography can be a part of that but it’s not the whole enchilada.”

“So sometimes you imagine yourself as Wonder Woman, tying up bad guys with the Lasso of Truth?”

“Um…” Emily tried not to laugh. “I think we just slid into your fantasy life, not mine.”

“No comment.” His dimples gave him away though he didn’t want to smile.

“Mmm hmm.” She nudged him. “Let’s just say that being able to free yourself through fantasy and play keeps people sane. It doesn’t make them insane…that’s just an excuse like all the other ones the bad guys use. I'm sick of the crazies giving everything a bad name. The only thing that deserves a bad name is their behavior. I'm taking back porn!”

“Did you know that the tips of your ears turn red when you're passionate about something?”

“Shut up!”

“And,” he touched one between his thumb and forefinger. “They get all warm too.”

“You're not funny, Aaron.” She folded her arms and pouted. When she looked at Hotch, he was just grinning. “Wipe that grin off your face.”

“I can't. It’s possible that you have the most adorable pout known to man.”

“Don’t tell me that; I don’t wanna use it to my advantage.”

“It’s a weakness of mine.”

“Do you mean telling me things or my pout?” she asked.

“Both.”

They were quiet for a while. Emily cleared her throat, getting up for another glass of wine. This was just going to be a half glass. She asked Hotch if he wanted another beer.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Hotch leaned back on the couch, trying to figure out how to change the subject from pornography and fantasy. It was entirely his fault they were talking about it in the first place. Maybe he’d just blurt out something else altogether but it would probably be something equally as uncomfortable. He wasn’t very good at this and Emily made him nervous. It was silly but it was true. She came back into the room, handing him a bottle of Stella Artois.

“Thank you. Sorry about the ear comment.”

“No you're not.” Emily grinned. She sat down beside him and sipped her wine.

“I am…sincerely.”

“You don’t have to be. Joking around with each other is fun. I'm having fun, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I appreciate your coming tonight.”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; that’s what friends are for.”

“I thought I could go through this alone. I thought I wanted to; talking about it is hard.”

“Honestly we haven’t talked about it very much.” Emily replied.

“I hardly know what to say.”

“I understand. My parents went through a quick divorce. One minute they were married and the next minute they weren't. And I don’t know how this will sound but I've been dumped before. I know it has nothing on what you're going through but…”

“I'm pretty sure Haley is having an affair.” Hotch blurted out. See, that’s what happened when he blurted things out. The words just hung in the air, he could practically read them.

“Then she's an idiot. You're not perfect, Hotch, I know that and so do you. But if Haley didn’t realize that she had one of the most awesome guys on the planet then to hell with her. I'm sure that doesn’t make you feel better but…”

Hotch’s kiss took the words right out of her mouth. He leaned over, cupped her face, and kissed her. There was no lust, no urgency; he wanted to take his time. They had kissed a few times in the recent past but waved it off. It was too much to drink or feeling lonely or other excuses they came up with as soon as their lips separated.

Tonight Emily wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. She didn’t want to pretend to be lonely or drunk tonight; that wasn’t what she was feeling. She was feeling quite nice, thank you very much. Hotch moaned and pulled her closer. He didn’t know how long this would last but forever was alright with him.

“Aaron…” Emily barely whispered as their lips came apart. Her mind screamed for her not to do it. _Don’t apologize for something you want to do, that you want to feel_.

“I'm sorry. I…”

“Don’t do that.” she put her fingers over his lips.

Just feeling them on her fingertips made butterflies dance in her stomach. Unable to help herself, Emily kissed him again. This time she felt the intensity and she held on tight so she wouldn’t fall over. Hotch hugged her; they just held each other for the longest time. Emily breathed and she felt him breathing with her.

She didn’t know what to say or do in the moment. Words, especially waving it off as another mistake, would get in the way. Emily stroked the back of his hair and trailed her fingers down the nape of his neck. She felt Hotch quiver against her.

“Actually,” he spoke after what seemed like a long time. “I do feel better.”

“I'm glad.” She smiled, caressing his face. “You deserve something better than what you’ve been through.”

“I'm not sure if I deserve you.”

“Well I'm already here…you're stuck with me.”

Hotch smiled, giving her one more kiss. He sighed and rested his forehead on hers. Hotch was surprised when Emily pulled away and stood up from the couch.

“What's the matter?” he asked.

“It might be better if we call it a night.” She replied.

“Why?”

“Well…I don’t want something to happen that shouldn’t.”

“If we both want it then how can we say it shouldn’t?”

“It could just be the wrong time.” Emily explained. “I don't want it to be the wrong time. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it can still be right.”

“Stay and finish the movie please.” Hotch held out his hand. “I didn’t invite you over here to seduce you, Emily; I promise to keep my hands to myself.

“Pity.” It slipped out before Emily could stop it. She grinned and so did Hotch. Then she took his hand and sat back beside him. “Let’s rewind to the part where Jack finds out about Operation: Reciprocity.”

Hotch nodded. He grabbed the remote and moved the movie back. Emily picked up her glass of wine, relaxing on the couch. A big smile spread across her face when he put his arm around her shoulder. It had been a while since something felt so nice.

There was no need to rush anything. Just thinking about the bumps along the way, most of which had nothing to do with his impending divorce, made Emily’s stomach churn. But tonight wasn’t about that. Tonight was movie night; they were buddies. Maybe the next time she came over or he came to her place it might be different. Right now this was good.

Emily rested her head on Hotch’s shoulder and watched the movie. While thoughts of moments like this sometimes occupied her mind, she never thought they would be here. She’d imagined them as friends with benefits or some other kind of arrangement filled with sex and regret. She couldn’t quite wrap her mind around something that might be happy. They actually weren't anywhere yet but something was happening.

They knew it, felt it, and admitted as much. The only thing left to do was act on it. It was going to be so amazing when they finally acted on it. But that might be the easiest part of the journey.

It was better right now to shake those thoughts away and focus on the here and now. Emily always did better when she kept both feet planted on the ground and her mind sharp. Who wouldn’t want to relish spending an evening with Aaron Hotchner and Jack Ryan? She was a very lucky girl indeed.

***

  



End file.
